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Understanding Character

A lot of times, we hear people talk about someone as a man of character. Other times, someone might be described as an unreliable character. Sometimes, we hear them referred to as quite a character!

When people begin to talk about character, there could be a dozen different shades to their tone. They might be sounding impressed, awed, disgusted, frightened, amused, bemused or a combination of these reactions.

What exactly is character? The dictionary would tell you that it is, basically, an attribute or a quality that defines a person. This means that you are defined by a certain set of habits, qualities or attitudes and these form the basis upon which your character is judged.

Character can have positive or negative associations. For instance, when someone is called a man of character, the unsaid adjective is a positive one. It means that he is ethically and morally upright and can be trusted.

When someone is just a character, it means that he is unique. He could be funny, awkward, interesting or ridiculous. But he has a strong distinctive personality that sets him apart from others.

Every attribute of yours goes into the building of your character. If someone were to describe YOU as a character, they would take into consideration all aspects of your personality, including your physical appearance, your social habits, your psychological reactions and other people’s perception of your strengths. In fact, the last aspect (other people’s perceptions of you character) is what goes into giving you a reputation, whether positive or negative.

Peer pressure is all about being forced into a certain way of living, dressing, talking, socializing and even thinking? Simply because that is how everyone else you know behaves, dresses, talks, socializes and thinks.

This is common among people who generally mix with people their own age. And mind you, this is definitely not restricted to youngsters. People across all age groups are subject to peer pressure. An office-worker is subject to as much pressure from his or her peers as a young college student.

All of us wish to gain and retain the respect and admiration of our peers. After all, we have to believe that others are our equals before we want to impress them. And if we cannot win their approval, we struggle to ensure that we don’t face their disapproval or ridicule either. It can be terribly painful to watch a peer humiliating us or even speaking negatively about us.

The matter of peer pressure becomes particularly difficult for youngsters because, thanks to the demands of education, sports, and other circumstances; they spend almost ninety percent of their waking hours with their peers. And they rarely have the choice of not mixing with those particular peers.

Young people can be often blunt and insensitive in their dealings with each other. And they are very quick to notice differences of habit, dress and social behavior. As a result, you might be compelled to buy the latest fashions in clothes and accessories because everyone else does the same, regardless of cost or comfort. You might end up reading what they read, watching the same television programs and movies that others watch and using the same language that they use. Otherwise, you feel left out of all the conversations. You might end up staying out late at night or eating out all the time, simply because that is what the others do, regardless of whether you can afford to or not.

The best way to counter peer pressure is to select your friends very carefully. Preferably, your friends should be in a mixed group of people. That keeps everyone rooted and more tolerant of differences. Remember 1Cor 15:33 says, “Do not be deceived, bad company corrupts good character.”

The second is to muster your courage and to tell people to mind their own business, if and when they begin to interfere with your life. Sure, a few people may be offended. But they will also learn to be less offensive themselves, in future.

And most importantly, you have to remember that you are an individual and a unique one. And your decisions to eat, drink, dress, talk, go out, read or think are your own. If others don’t share these interests or habits, too bad. Let your peers and friends catch up with you. If they can’t, find new friends.

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